In a move surpassed in clumsiness only by Nick Diaz’s bear baiting of the IRS, UFC heavyweight Josh Barnett has revealed in advance of his UFC 164 fight against Frank Mir that he enjoys murder. On the eve of his long-awaited UFC return, and with the Las Vegas Culinary Workers Local 226 railing against the UFC’s reputation for things as simple and innocuous as being homophobes who hate women, Barnett announced his tendency to kill people in an interview with MMA mania:
I just go out, chop the guy’s head off and bring it back, put it on top of the board, and say, “What do you want to do now? What do you have next?” If you tell me I’m fighting for the title, then it will be mine. If you tell me I’m going to fight this other guy, alright, well, then he’s done.
A pro-murder stance from a newly contracted heavyweight seems a bit like a rotten-mayonnaise–filled cherry on top of the diarrhea milkshake of the UFC’s public image. What will New York State Assembly Speaker Sheldon Silver think about this ghoulishness? After all, Barnett not only chops off heads, he claims to bring them back and put them on top of a board. The whole thing sounds extremely pathological. If I were a lawyer, I would also note that he describes this as if he habitually does it—what heads other than Frank Mir’s are on your board, Mr. Barnett? What exactly do you mean by “he’s done”? I remind you, you are under oath.
Further, there might be a possibility that—like Brock Lesnar—Barnett is irresponsibly wasting meat. The traditional rule is that if you can’t transport the entire person to a place where you can eat it, you shouldn’t kill him or her to begin with. At least heart-eating guy ate mushrooms as an appetizer.