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Wanderlei Silva wants to fight until 2031

What is up with former PRIDE superstars refusing to accept the march of time and their fast-approaching obsolescence in today’s increasingly competitive MMA scene? Here’s Wanderlei Silva (and his dumb hat), currently 2-4 in the UFC, when asked if he’s thinking about retirement:

“No, I’m just back from the doctors, and he make all the checks, and the doctor say, he told me I can fight 20 more years! I’m really healthy you know, and I’m trying to pass Couture. Couture stop at 48, I’m 35.”

While Wand hasn’t been taking Gary Goodridge levels of punishment in his recent fights, his chin isn’t exactly looking awesome lately. I’ve also heard stories about the kind of sparring sessions he takes part in regularly that would turn your hair white and your teeth curly. Did those doctors check his brain? Like properly? Is there an easy way to see if it’s been turned into mashed potatoes from 15 years of going toe to toe with bad mofos? That thing has probably been jackhammered harder than an eastern bloc pornstar’s butthole.

  • Danjo

    Eastern bloc pornstar’s butthole?

    I applaud you, sir. Pure poetry.

  • glassjawsh


  • CAP

    I don’t see that happening.

  • agentsmith

    Those euro pornstars really do get jackhammered, to the point that I usually don’t even like euro-made porn anymore.

  • frickshun

    Did you just reference Robotron?

  • scissors61

    if it’s between euro jackhammering and american porn where the camera man will not SHUT THE FUCK UP i’ll take the jackhammering. goddamn motherfuckers nobody wants to hear your stupid ass talking during the goddamn fucking. FUCK

  • scissors61

    and another thing, why are we still having guy-on-girl oral in 2011 in porno scenes? nobody fucking jerks off to that. fucking stunt-cocks shouldn’t be allowed to speak or show their faces!

  • Mixed Martial Adam