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“We’re America’s Couple”

Here’s Jenna Jameson being all weepy and stuffed up, explaining how Tito Ortiz didn’t actually beat on her, he just pushed her aside and she whacked herself on the tub:

“I was just trying to plead with him saying please don’t leave me and he said it was over and as he said that he moved past me and grabbed my arm and pushed me aside, and by doing that I fell against the edge of the bathtub. It did a little bit of damage, I bruised pretty bad for a bit,” she said in the video interview (brandishing an unblemished arm).

“Every couple in the world goes through being so angry that you want to just…(trails off). You don’t put your hands on a woman ever, EVER. Because this is what happens,”

As dumb as “America’s Couple” have been throughout this entire ordeal, it still gives me some retard happiness deep in my retard heart that this retard couple looks like it’s going to go back to being retards together.