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What the fuck is Dana’s announcement?

One thing he’s said is that it ain’t a TV deal. And it ain’t Mayweather. So what the fuck is it? Dana has said it’s something out of left-field, so I looked to Martial Farts (who does left-field better than anyone) for his possibilities. Here’s a partial list of his thoughts:

    1. The UFC has acquired the intellectual property rights to the punch, the armbar, bow ties, and wrestling, meaning that anybody found engaging in punching, armbarring, wrestling or wearing bow ties without the prior written consent of Zuffa LLC will be required to cease and desist or face being sued so hard their hair and/or teeth will fall out.
    2. The grand opening of “UFC Land”, a theme park based on Ultimate Fighting. Located in Zagreb, Croatia (which was demolished specifically for the project). The park will feature rides such as “The Crushinator”, “Sir Punchalot”, “Let’s Get It On-In Space”, “Clay Guida’s Hair Maze”, “Escape from Mount Tito”, “Steroid Scramble” and many more.
    3. The creation of a women’s division with a twist! Competitors are restricted to men wearing makeup and sports bras stuffed with tissue paper, wearing 28oz gloves.
    4. In a miracle of modern science, Dana White is pregnant with the Fertittas’ baby. They are very happy with the news and plan on calling him “Marvin P. Ultimator”, with the P apparently standing for Punch. No word yet on how angry the Fertittas will be when the baby is born with a mohawk and a beer belly and Dana grins sheepishly at them while Chuck Liddell bangs on the delivery room window with a tear in his eye yelling “Give me back my baby, give me back my baaaaby”

       Read the rest of it here.

      • Eric

        when is this announcement happening?

      • fightlinker

        Thursday afternoon

      • iamphoenix

        so martial farts has the inside scoop on the announcement?

      • Giantoooo Shilbaaa

        Dana White should definitely grow a ‘stach like that, thing looks awesome!

      • Gong


      • jakey

        hughes v serra

      • EdenMachine

        So FL, can we also get a serious list too?

      • fightlinker

        1. Someone bought into the UFC
        2. Someone bought into the UFC
        3. Someone bought into the UFC
        4. Someone bought into the UFC
        5. Someone bought into the UFC

      • Stellar53

        I think it is going to be “knees to the head’ are going to be LEGAL….

      • Hattori Hanzo Gracie

        Anderson Silva vs Chuck Liddell
        Anderson Silva vs Roy Jones
        Anderson Silva vs Cyborg from planet Xenon. winner gets the 6 figure Space fighting contract

      • Threatis
      • Flynn

        Dana is gonna announce a signature line of bowling balls modelled after his shiny bald bonce.

      • Carcass

        Or maybe the ‘Dana Dong’ line of realistic toys?

      • ajadoniz

        bought into the UFC… is the mayweather crap im hearing true? did mayweather spend 200million to buy into the UFC? if it is, this news sucks. wut does it mean for us or the sport?

      • MRC54

        ESPN are going to show UFC Fight Nights. All going to plan ABC will air some big cards next year.

      • RL Dookiefuck

        The big announcement:

        1. Dana just saved big money on his car insurance by calling GEIKO

      • Preach

        At first i thought it’d be the CBS-U deal being finalized. But if i come to think of it, the thing that makes most sense would be that Rupert Murdoch’s Newscorp has become a (minority?) owner.

        If you think about it, it’d be the perfect choice:

        – Dana stated, that Germany’s next on their agenda to build a base and do shows. And Murdoch/News Corp is a minority owner (25,1%) to germany’s only PPV-provider, Premiere (he’s aiming to take complete control in the forseeable future), which in turn is in talks of buying the german equivalent to ESPN, DSF. So being in bed with Murdoch would instantly give them access to german TV, and make it much easier for them to operate there.

        – Newscorp owns the UK’s biggest private broadcasting company, British Sky Broadcasting – which, up until now, broadcasts the Cage Rage events. You can bet your ass, that if Murdoch were to buy into the UFC, Cage Rage would be gone in a minute. Why have your own competition on one of your networks?

        – On top of that Newscorps owns or has stakes in networks in Italy, New Zealand, Uruguay, Poland, Australia, India and Indonesia. Even with the company not being the main shareholder, it shouldn’t be that much of a problem for Murdoch to push “his” UFC programming into the schedule, just furthering the UFC’s worldwide expansion.

        – And of course there’d be the prospect of UFC programming on FOX, FX and My Network TV in the states, which, at least at the moment, would be their primary revenue sources when it comes to cable and broadcast tv.

        And Dana wouldn’t even be lieing, when he says that it’s NOT a tv-deal, because Newscorp itself isn’t a tv-network, it just owns a few dozen… ;)

      • Popetastic

        Oh god.
        “WWE will be holding a special news conference at the Hard Rock Cafe in New York City on Thursday, June 12 at 12 Noon, and all WWE Fans are invited to attend this free event. Join WWE Chairman Vince McMahon and WWE Superstars as they take part in this special event.”

      • Wu Tang

        That pix made me piss my pants!

      • Amy Robinson

        My first thoughts on what it may be without any other sources to them are-

        – Someone has bought out or bought into the UFC

        – Floyd Mayweather is signing, possibly with the WEC

        – They got Randy back

        -They got a deal with HBO

        – They got a event deal or a shared media (ie- results, clips, news updates) deal with ESPN.

        – Or they got a network deal, the only possibilty with that would be Fox

        I’ll be sure to tell you all vienmently if one of these turns out to be correct, I shooting to be the UFC prediction queen.

      • Amy Robinson

        To add to my speculation, I did some nosing around and found some indictions towards the “big news” being the UFC’s aqquirement of the IFL.

        The indications seem that the UFC would run it as another seperate brand like the WEC, seeing as they’re are no main event fighters contracts the IFL holds, which was the reason for the UFC’s other former aquirements in the WFA and Pride. (In Prides case they also got a good tape library that they barely ever use.)

        I don’t have a specific or big source to cite on this one, but if you have a little inside knowledge and friends in the industry, they’re are some relevant events and signs that point to this.

        And so far, this is the only potential happening that I’ve been able to actually find any substancial links to, so that in its self seems to be a sign. I’ve been searching like crazy everywhere for any tidbits on the news and this is the only thing I’ve come across so far through all of my research.

        Anyways this has now become my chief assumption for Thursday, I’ll be sure to pass on anything eles I come across.