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“The Wild Cat Offense” — Tate vs. Zingano

Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

On April 13th, 2013, Miesha Tate and Cat Zingano squared off for a shot at Ronda Rousey’s Bantamweight Title, along with the opportunity to coach against Rousey on the upcoming season of The Ultimate Fighter.  Tate vs. Zingano marked the second female fight in UFC history, trailing only Rousey’s UFC debut victory over Liz Carmouche.


“The Wild Cat Offense”


Just moments ahead

Of the battle’s first bell

A glimpse of the fighters

Would show more than tell


While Tate bounced around

As she lip-synced a tune

The Cat shot a glare

That could crater the moon


It pierced through the cheers

And the muddled applause—

She only saw red

And the prey in her claws


The bell set the tone

As they fought tooth and nail

Each vying to board

On a ship soon to sail


And after ten minutes

Of ravaging war

The favorite seemed primed

For a victory roar


But Cat wasn’t ready

To forfeit her meal

Her hunger eclipsed

Any pain she could feel


And with this advantage

She mustered a fleet

Of elbows and knees

That exacted defeat


Now shackled to Rousey—

The Ultimate prize—

Cat’s stock is in store

For a rocketing rise


And even though Ronda’s

The game’s brightest star

Whose fires cast shadows

Both vibrant and far


I’m sure Miss Zingano

Will flourish and grow

And maybe, in darkness,

She’ll cast her own glow


  • dick


  • Shibo

    Roses are red,

    Violets are blue.

    I hope you resign,

    before Ryan fires you.

  • Fightlinker is wrong

    Needs more dick jokes.

  • Letibleu

    ^ ouch.

  • Letibleu

    BTW, Shibo is the Mother Shipton of FL.

  • Letibleu


  • Letibleu

    ok, i just re-read the post… WTF?!?!

    You need to stipulate which drug we need to be consuming for the post to be funny.

  • Doogie Howser, M.D.

    What the fuck is this?

    This is Kiki McGraw levels of shit right here.

    Tate vs Zingano is the worst technical levels of MMA I think I’ve ever seen at a professional level. I’ve seen spastics fight better. Honest-to-goodness spastics.

  • agentsmith
  • Mixed Martial Adam

    There’s not enough weed in my house to make this funny. So I either need more weed (unlikely) or you’re just not funny. Sorry brah.

  • glassjawsh

    the rainbow tattoo i got from losing a bet on blood sport is less embarrassing that whatever the fuck this is

  • SST

    OMG! You should stick to things you’re good at you dirty Jew, counting other people’s money.

  • CAP

    Keep telling yourself that jawsh.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    I admire the guts needed to post this given the people who frequent this blog.

  • SumDude

    I liked this, it was original and pretty witty. I’m not saying this blog needs an injection of poetry,but you managed to make your opinion pretty darned interesting to read. Fuck people who think anything that isn’t overcompensation is weak or gay.

  • frickshun

    Okay….now I read it. AND IT AIN’T BAD.

  • Shibo

    “Fuck people who think anything that isn’t overcompensation is weak or gay.”

    Fuck you for encouraging shitty content. It wasn’t weak, or gay, it was embarrassing. Sculptures made out of fresh shit are original too, but that doesn’t
    make them a good idea.

  • SumDude

    Did you even read it Shibo or is it so shitty you dont even have to check how shitty it is?

  • SumDude

    Also thank you for proving my point about overcompensation by referring to poetry as embarrassing. I mean i’m sure you meant this was poorly executed poetry and you were embarrassed for the author but I gotta ask you man. How much poetry have you read?
    I also liked how you compared this to sculptures of fresh shit, tasteful, classy, insightful and totally not a straw man insulting people who don’t share your opinion. (though I would go to a fresh shit sculpture exhibit at least once)