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Win a copy of Urijah Faber’s new book!

Last week we announced an exciting contest where the best love letters to Urijah Faber would earn their scribes a copy of Urijah’s new book ‘The Laws of the Ring.’ Due to the OVERWHELMING response, I’ve decided to extend the contest for a few more days to give all you people who spent your weekend water skiing or memorializing an opportunity to participate.

Here’s how it works: you write a short 1-3 paragraph Harlequin-esque story about Urijah Faber. We judge that story on 3 parameters: erotic chin usage, sensual shirtlessness, and flex factor. We’ll pick the best stories and award the writer a copy of The Laws of the Ring. Winners will be announced Friday, June 1st.

  • Giallo

    I don’t like his stupid face

  • Letibleu

    Interesting little known facts about Urijah’s chin:

    - It was created by mistake while God was brainstorming Vida Guerra

    Vida Guerra

    -The hole is 4 inches deep

    -He uses a speculum to clean the fuzz out of it

    -It makes fart sounds when pressed against his palm

    -His mother used to spank him on the chin, it was easier on her back

    -His parents got rich when they rented baby Urijah out to a costume company so they could mold a Jay Leno Halloween mask

    -It smells like ass

    -Urijah can still make a wicked cannonball when diving head first into a pool

    -Urijah once tried anal by mistake when he missed his mouth with a hotdog

    -Gillette tried failed to make a razor for the contours of the chin. To this day Urijah still uses a bikini wax kit

    -Urijah once got fired for photocopying his chin at an office staff party

    -His next job was modeling g strings

    - Urijah coined the phrase “you’re talking out of your ass”

    -“Face down ass up” is confusing

    -His chin is the only thing bigger than his confidence

    -He once grew a beard but had to shave it because eagles kept trying to nest in it

    -Dominick Cruz was actually moving around the entire time trying to avoid a chinbutt

  • ButtHorn

    You’d have to be black dude to do anything with that.

    Eh.

  • drunkenjunk

    not a fan of the latin women?

  • Reverend Clint

    he just has a tiny penis img.chan4chan.com/img/2009-04-08/smallestdick.jpg

  • Letibleu

    I was eating a cashews when I opened your pic. I stopped eating cashews after I opened your pic. Were you erect there or is that flask?

    drunkenjunk, butthorn, misread ‘backshot’ for ‘blackshot’.

  • Reverend Clint

    i know you liked it… brought back some childhood memories

  • ButtHorn

    I’ve just found huge butts to be a bit of unwieldy overkill in personal experience.

    Like RC said.

    Butt dont get me wrong, all butts are good butts.

  • iamphoenix

    Bro Chin-Cops, starring Urijah Fabers Chin “El Chin Loco”, is the true story of a secret crime fighting organization of ass chins across America. When Faber goes to sleep at night, El Chin Loco awakes and dons a cape for a city in need. Partnered with other ass chin superhero cops, El Chin Loco and his Band of Ass Chins fight for justice, surfboards and kicking homeless people’s asses off the beach.
    But one day, when El Chin Loco was recieving double penetration from two hookers with strap on’s, the rest of his Band of Ass Chins were horribly exploded while investigating a Mexican drug cartel selling surfboards made out of cocaine. Nothing is loved more by El Chin Loco than surfboards, not even his dead ass chin brethren.
    With a taste for vengeance and one bead of sweat running down the crack in his chin and one in Urijah Faber’s sleeping butt crack, El Chin Loco must seek out who took away all that is right in the world. No one stands in his way, and if they do, El Chin Loco will totally be all like “BRO GET OUT OF MY WAY!” and “Bro…dude, bro lol c’mon get of my way bro. Dude. Deeewwwd. Dude. Let me go through you’re totes in my way bro. Hang ten cowa bonga bro.” 

     

  • Letibleu

  • Reverend Clint

    After many years of wandering the streets of SACramento a young boy named Urinal is kidnapped by a group of former Canadian special forces called “The Eh Team”. He was picked up after they spotted the long fabled “Chin of Destiny”They train him to be a perfect killing machine, also changed his name to something a little less gay, Urijah. After many years of training he is put to the ultimate test, survive a night with Cyborg. The night started nice with a little heavy petting and 2nd base action. After a while they both get sleepy and decide to take a nap so they have strength for later. Urijah wakes up to a jolt to find cyborg in full mount trying to poke his Chin of Destiny.They fight for many hours both getting the upper hand. its only when Urijah parts his chin while pinned under cyborg and her manly strength that he is able to get the upper hand, literally. Unknown to anybody, even Urijah, he had grown a 3rd fist in his chin. The delivered punch knocked out Cyborg and allowed him to finish what they started.

  • frickshun

    Phunny Feeniggz……WE HAVE A WINNER!!

  • Reverend Clint

    wtf it was in separate paragraphs 

    After many years of wandering the streets of SACramento a young boy named Urinal is kidnapped by a group of former Canadian special forces called “The Eh Team”. He was picked up after they spotted the long fabled “Chin of Destiny”They train him to be a perfect killing machine, also changed his name to something a little less gay, Urijah 

    After many years of training he is put to the ultimate test, survive a night with Cyborg. The night started nice with a little heavy petting and 2nd base action. After a while they both get sleepy and decide to take a nap so they have strength for later. Urijah wakes up to a jolt to find cyborg in full mount trying to poke his Chin of Destiny. 

    They fight for many hours both getting the upper hand. its only when Urijah parts his chin while pinned under cyborg and her manly strength that he is able to get the upper hand, literally. Unknown to anybody, even Urijah, he had grown a 3rd fist in his chin. The delivered punch knocked out Cyborg and allowed him to finish what they started. 

  • agentsmith

  • Letibleu

  • Reverend Clint

    ^2 white guys trying to dance

  • Letibleu

    Im trying to figure out the Faber dance here…

    He starts off with a 2 finger ‘get down and boogie’ thing

    He then does the splash water from the sink to the hair move

    He follows up with a one handed in the air worm wave

    And then a a lean on the counter mime

    After that its i dont know what the fuck that is

    And finally a sideways horse saddle with one handed rein grip

    Jone Jones is just pretending he is dancing with an underage girl

  • iamphoenix

    I found an excerpt from Urijah’s book that someone else wrote for him.

    From http://www.pagesfrombrobooks.com:

                                              CHAPTER 1
    “In Laws of The Ring there are 36 Laws of Power, and with each word you read you get closer to knowing those laws. Of the ring. Because when you read you gradually get closer to the end of the book. Einstein has a theory on this that’s called The Theory of Reading and he lists 36 ways you can read a book, so I came up with arbitrary bullshit to list as well. So that’s why you have this book in your Kindle.
     I was watching Lord of The Rings, and I stopped mid-Tortentino’s Pizza Bites bite and was like BRO, what if it was called Laws of The Ring?  I can relate to those little bro’s in the movie because I’m a little bro with California swag much like those dudes are little bro’s with middle earth swag.
    That’s when I knew I had to write a book, I would be the first MMA fighter to write a book since no other person did it before, except for Randy Couture, Chuck Liddell, BJ Penn, Forest Griffin, Matt Hughes, Chael Sonnen, Brian Stann, Gary Goodridge, Jens Pulver, Brock Lesnar…

                                               CHAPTER 2
    LAWS OF POWER

    1. Eat a vegetable. They are power.
    2. Watch Power Rangers. They are Rangers with POWER.
    3. Drink Powerade. Hold a bottle of Powerade in your right hand and your thumb cover up the “ade” part you are drinking POWER.
    4. Eat Powerbars. When you hold a Powerbar in your right hand you are eating POWER.
    5. Grab a dictionary. The word power is in their.
    6. Watch Smallville on DVD. All the season front to back. Superman has superPOWERs.
    7. Read old Batman comic books because when Batman punches The Joker he makes a POW, which is short for POWER. Read the word Pow twice to get full POWER.
    8.  Go to the back of your house. Open the breaker box. Rip off the power switch and eat it. Instant POWER.”

    I totally want this book. Exclusive pics from the book:

  • Letibleu

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003406260158 Winy

    gay for pay, not gay for gay. you guys need to realize that gay porn stars make A SHITLOAD more money than a nmaorl one, that’s the only reason he did it. also, he has a girlfriend and he’s not really gay people need to stop blowing this out of proportion.

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