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ZOMG UFC champ Brock Lesnar returns to WWE!!!!!!

If you’ve been around here for a while you’ll know I hate those not-so-rare moments when the MMA and WWE world collide and I am forced to comment on pro wrestling. Obsessing about dudes in speedos beating eachother up is silly enough when the fighting is real. But during this six week UFC vacation, Brock Lesnar scratching his asshole would probably be a bigger story than anything else that’s going on, so Brock Lesnar we shall discuss.

As rumored over Wrestlemania weekend, Brock has returned to World Wrestling Entertainment and made his debut last night on Monday Night Raw, thus fulfilling another of Nostro-Overeem’s prophecies. Rather than go into breathless details about his windpants or wrasslin cardio, I’ll instead break down Lesnar’s return in pictures after the jump:

Fin.

  • Giallo

    Thank you Alistair.

  • kwagnuth

    If he could have done that in the UFC he would still be champ. F5 baby YEAH.

  • SHORT_BUS

    Good for him. Hope he makes a ton of money.

  • Letibleu

    F5

    • In all modern Internet browsers pressing F5 will refresh or reload the page or document window.
    • Open the find, replace, and go to window in Microsoft Word.
    • Starts a slideshow in PowerPoint.
  • Steve W

    He is. I read he gets a $5,000,000 base salary to work a maximum of 35 dates over the next year. Anything over that has to be negotiated iver and above his current deal. He probably gets a cut of the gate and PPV, too, but those will mean a lot less than they did in the UFC. The price WWE tickets start in the neighborhood of around $8.16. PPV pulls about 75k buys in North America, where they cost around $50, and another 75k in other countries, where PPV costs a goat; include a plucked chicken for HD.

    In other words, PPV bonuses will earn Brock enough to purchase a shiny new Playstation Vita, but no more. Hence, that big-ass downside guarantee.

    Brock had all the leverage here. The WWE spent big to get the Rock and ratings still went down. They grasping at anything that will move the needle, so good on Brock for putting them over the barrel. Shit, this money is to put his great-grandkids through college. Vince McMahon fucked so many people, it’s nice to see him taking it from all sides while his empire burns.

  • Royal

    This is going to work real well with the morale among the career guys right now.

  • Royal

    but congrats. You gave WWE what the wanted. A day trending on twitter.

  • Royal

    Holy shit! I take it back. Lesnar isn’t trending.

  • DJ ThunderElbows

    Ryan, excellent recap!  Hilarious.

  • CAP

    Soobo needs to change his underwear!

  • Jarman

    soobo? who the fuck is that? he’s that guy who loves drinking piss, right?

    so what steve is saying is…..people on average paid $113 for wrestlemania…..as high as what, $400 for front row? So that idiot in the last gif wasted 459.95 to feel like brock was posing just for him?

  • Steve W

    Agreed. Entry level pro wrestler in the WWE, which they assign to some to butt fuck town in Florida, to train all week and wrestle in front of 37 people on the weekends, get a healthy base salary of $24,000 a year. Plus, if they go on the road, they pay their own expenses. Outside of the top guys, wrestlers on TV are lucky to make six figures and most still have to pay their own expenses. That’s why most of them cram into rental cars like circus clowns and room five deep. They’re splitting the cost!

  • Reverend Clint

    i cant imagine paying 100 bucks to watch basically roid ballet

  • Steve W

    Hah! Most I ever paid was $45 but that was in like 1998. I saw Stone Cold Steve Austin take on Mankind! From what I’ve, prices have gone down due to lack of demand.

    Funny, those same seats for UFC on Versus 4 cost me $235. That was still the better value.

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